Apparently, now, by decree (in its infinite wisdom) of ‘our’ brand, spanking new Tory/Lib Dem Coalition government pact, if I were a civil servant, and were I ever to meet any of my ‘esteemed’ elected representatives – either through design or by unfortunate accident – I would have to make bloody sure I was dressed like a schoolgirl.

“There has been no formal memo or directive about the dress code, but it is understood that anybody meeting a minister or likely to come in contact with one must be wearing a suit and tie.”

So, do I take it that if, indeed, I were a civil servant and dared turn up to meet one of my ‘VIP social betters’ minus the tie and schoolgirl look, I might well run the risk of being arrested, fingerprinted and photographed – with my consequent hog-tied n’ handcuffed Betty Page style BDSM shot being forwarded post-haste to parliament’s bosses in the USA to go with the FBI’s collection of pics of, for instance, any 17-year-old boys whose messages containing references to sexual members like ‘pricks’ have the mysterious tendency to appear in President Barack Obama’s email inbox?

Ahem. Or would I just have to bend over and get the cane?

Beats me.

But, my word fellows! Ties, blazers, gymslips and warm custard: how our male-dominated elite old boys’ networks just do lurve their transwomen in the submissive lolita look!!! Must make ’em nostalgic for the ‘goings on’ at the posh, exclusive private schools that the overwhelmngly majority of them went to.

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