I'm not your babe

So there’s this stupid chauvinist transphobic guy at work. Wasn’t going to write about this but tonight I feel pretty down and irritated by his attitude and it’s happened before. Since on the odds of a zillion-to-one he probably doesn’t this blog anyway, ‘why not?’ thinks Becky.

Well how do I describe his attitude? He’s just so annoying. It’s hard to put my finger on it but he definitely treats me differently than the rest of the females at work. I think it could be because he’s scared of me or something…I don’t know…but he certainly doesn’t approve of me and his disapproval of me comes across in the way he reacts to me whether he’s conscious of that, or not.

Yeah, he’s a fairly quiet guy but the vibes he’s giving seem to say that he wouldn’t touch me with a bargepole because I’m transsexual. To give an example, he does all those olde worlde things like opening doors for other women in the office – whether they think he’s sexist or not. So anyway, the other week I was approaching the doors and he was coming out the other side and he kind of holds the door open for me but you can see in his face that he really resents doing this. Looks like he really wanted to barge through the door and trample me over in the process but he couldn’t do that because he didn’t want to lose face and so was forced to put on this polite fake demeanour otherwise people would wonder why he’s being so rude to me. Look on his face was really angry, though – beetroot red with anger!

Yep, he definitely doesn’t want me in his world; a world in which transsexual women and girls don’t exist. And it shows everytime. This morning, there were a few of us standing by the elevator and he does a similar thing again. He’s so polite to everyone else in the office and then he craps on me – like he can’t help himself. Like I’m his nemesis or something.

He seems really uncomfortable with me, with the fact of my very existence – which he can’t even bring himself to even acknowledge. I know like many people he may never have a met a transsexual before but everyone else at work seems totally cool with me and treats me no different from anyone else. But with him it’s like I have two heads – it’s a kind of aggressive ignoring.

Well, there’s this other woman whom he seems obsessed with. I couldn’t work out at first whether or not they were an item or if he was just tagging onto her all the time. Now I’m beginning to get the feeling that she just wishes he’d get lost. He’s just so intense both in love and in hate. It’s almost like he’ll suck the blood out of you like some creepy vampire.

Anyway, there was this time before when I was walking upstairs to my floor and I accidently dropped a highlighter pen on his head. lol:) A pink one. Stupid transphobic chauvinist.

Hmmmm…maybe that’s actually why he hates me so much.

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