WRONG GEAR

Clarkson: The sat nav says you've reached a dead end, kid.

Clarkson: The sat nav says you’ve reached a dead end, kid.

Oh my, what is Beckytranssexual to say of professional grumpy old git, Master Jeremy Clarkson Esq., and moreover the subject of his latest rant which this time he reserves for us sweet lil’ transgender folk?

Well, I guess it had to happen, didn’t it? Getting rear-ended, I mean – tssssk…men driver’s, eh gurls?;) Here we have a boy racer who’s spent the lion’s part of his career rear-ending pretty much everybody else on the road so to be honest I was beginning to wonder why he’d left us off his ‘to-do’ list. After all, the fearsome Jezza has clocked up a name for himself being pretty much to progressive thought what Manfred von Richthofen was to being the scourge of the allied air war effort during World War One. Was the prospect that the famed Jez would never even deign to speak our name signs he was profoundly transphobic, per chance? Did he haughtily adopt the Queen Victoria approach and refuse to countenance that we even existed? Subsequently, the answer turned out to be ‘no’ but he was likewise not amused. For out for a Sunday morning drive yesterday I happened to glance in my rear-view mirror and suddenly there the rotter was, tailgating my shocking pink, Sheila’s wheels, transmobile pussywagon! Next thing I know the angry little tadger gives us a flash. Metaphorically-speaking, of course;) Phew!

Now let’s get one thing er…*straight* for starters, Jezza babes: Truth is, the only thing that’s ‘poisoned’ transgender kids is NOT as you so prematurely ejaculate the brand new stirrings of new found freedom to exercise the choice to live out their own gender identities, but in actuality the centuries long attempt by the heterosexist, gendernormative, male-dominated patriarchal society to hammer square pegs into round holes and smashing them to bits in the process. Now if you want to know what sort of world we have inherited from that, this would be precisely the retrogressive ideology and culture that the likes of Jezza and his supposedly lovable old rascally mates represent. Indeed, once upon a time – muses Clarkson nostalgically in the opinion column he’s been privileged with by Rupert Murdoch in the now hopelessly degraded tabloided Times – trans women (or ‘ladyboys’ as he refers to us) were nothing more than the punchline at a stag do.

Ahem…*punch*line. Methinks you’d better be careful with that Jezza, old fruit. For your recent, most notorious outburst encapsulates it all really, doesn’t it? This is all of what good ol’ boy David Cameron’s mate Jezza is all about. I mean, what’s the world coming to when society takes a dim view of the Bossman Biggus Dickus doing his best to impress his peers and competitors by punching out his PA at a board meeting when their favourite luncheon meat is unable to be sourced. Especially if she’s *only* some ‘ladyboy’. Why, ’tis political correctness gawn mad is it not? What’s the world coming to when privileged, wealthy white heterosexual males can’t off-road roughshod over the rights of everyone else? i.e. The rest of us. And, tellingly, Clarkson reserves all his transphobic ire for trans women. What’s teh matter Jezza? Don’tcha like girls?;) Ah, the ‘good old days’, eh? Ya know, when women didn’t have the vote or at least weren’t allowed to drive and if they did were horsewhipped on suspicion of being lesbian or even, heaven forfend, having the temerity to want the vote.

However, no wonder he feels he’s been afforded carte blanche to behave like someone who’s so desperately keen to make the point of being seen to be an unreconstructed 19th century Bullingdon Boy on speed – or should that be absinthe? If the latest indications are anything to go by, it’s not as if Clarkson’s new employer Amazon is going to speak out or least of all his spineless Etonian ‘mate’ who just happens to run the country. Dearie me, it’s almost as bad as the time that, the humble office boy so brutally ran his face into ‘national institution’ Mr Clarkson’s fist causing it to turn racist and abuse people for being Irish and then mysteriously and after innumerable death threats later said recipient of Master Clarkson’s violent racist assault ‘agreed’ not to press charges. Lordy Lord, just what do you now feel your status to be, Jezza – that of some widely feared untouchable 1920s Chicago gangland kingpin? Perhaps it’s less a case of me thinking I’m Napoleon and more of you being Little Caesar, eh Jezza?

And that’s just why Jeremy Clarkson typifies everything that is wrong with contemporary Britain. Hey, Amazon! Grow a metaphorical pair and sack him, that’s what I say. Time for a new model. To that end, why not replace him with someone who’s got real talent such as Eddie Izzard. Not that I’m biased of course. Otherwise, you may as well have Alan Partridge. LOL;)

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